THROUGH MOM'S EYES!

BRINKLEY,

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!

I LOVE YOU !

Learning to WHISPER...

I rushed to get the kids ready for the gym this morning. Jax was staying home since daddy was sleeping and Brinkley was pretty excited to go, so I couldn't back out, even if I wanted to. Well, it did not dawn on me to really look at my 6 year olds outfit until after we were walking into the gym. I know it seems strange that I wouldn't, but the routine to get the water bottles, the diapers, the baby himself and myself ready is hectic enough so I trust Binky to do the dressing on her own usually .... and today was a huge mistake!

I almost died when the front desk clerk laughed and said, "I love your outfit," in an odd tone. I stopped and turned around to look at Brinkley because the most I had even said to her before we were even out the door of the house was, "please brush your hair...." I wanted to die or just do an about face out of the gym. Brinkley looked like something out of an X-rated DVD.

It was not so much the clothes. I can deal with the mix and match clothes. I can deal with the skirts that are too short when you have pants on underneath. You see, it was the boots. I got the boots for nothing at a sale and Brinkley has only worn them under jeans. Not today. Brinkley chooses to wear them for all the world to see today.

The only words that come out of my mouth are, "NOOOO, do not encourage her. My 6 year old looks like a hooker." I know, I can not believe I said this. Needless to say, we stayed, although, very reluctantly, and I did my workout with my trainer.

When we get home, Brinkley walked in the door to daddy, who immediately says, "Who dressed her?"........WONDERFUL... I can see he is really pleased with me at this point.

What's worse is Brinkley proudly boasts, "I did, and Mommy says I look like a HOOKER!"

I really need to learn how to WHISPER!

My own 'lil Rockstar!

I love when I get to wash and blow dry Brinkley's hair. Her hair is a strangely beautiful color. She is definitely blonde but she has reddish highlights with some darker brownish lowlights and then there are some streaks of white in there. In the summer she has almost white hair (or greenish when we swim) but mostly, she has hair that 18 year old girls and 45 year old women, for that matter, are paying huge money for nowadays! When she lets me wash, condition and then blow dry it, it is amazing. It is not an easy task. It is not like she has a ton of hair. It is not like it is difficult to do it. She is difficult. She is Brinkley!

On the rare occasion that I actually do blow her hair dry, it is usually just the two of us hiding out in one of the bathrooms talking girl~talk or giggling about something. Tonight we were in my bathroom on the floor together and she was mad. She was cold and did not want me to dry her hair. That was until I showed her what Grammie Diane used to do to Auntie Kelly and I in Nebraska, where it was really cold. (My kids don't know what Nebraska cold is) I started drying her hair while she was in her little (actually huge) beach towel. She was whining so I opened the towel at her feet and started to blow the hot air at her toes. The look on her face was of total amazement. How I could have gone 6 and a half years and never done this with her before, is beyond me. She started laughing uncontrollably. I don't know why she assumed that the air would make her colder but I had just done the "coolest thing ever" she told me. (go figure)

When her hair is almost dry I make her flip it forward to do the bottom. I am pretty sure every girl old enough to blow dry their hair has done this, so for me it is not a big deal. To get Brinkley to do this was like making her eat green beans or cauliflower....until we started doing the rockstar model!

I have Brinkley flip her hair up and down while I dry it. She can flip up, down, side to side, front, back...whatever works best for her, as long as she doesn't fall over and get hurt from being dizzy. I tell her that the rockstars do this on stage while they play guitar (she keeps telling me to remind her to do this while she is playing Guitar Hero with Jax from now on) and that models blow their hair dry like this so they can have CRAZY hair during photoshoots. She bounces around and poses like a model and then starts jumping around like she is now a rockstar!!! We have a good time with it and she laughs and lets me get her hair pretty again...even if it is only for a very brief.... few minutes! Her hair smells so yummy when we get done. Child-like, smush your face in it and just breathe it in yummy. Baby soft, twirl it around your fingers yummy! I love it when her hair is like this!

Funny part about it all, the boys notice it the most. Daddy always comments when her hair is clean and soft and yummy smelling. I always find it amazing that her big brother would notice how shiny and soft it feels when I do blow it dry... (that is, while he is pulling it during wrestle mania at bedtime)

So, Miss Binky, thanks for letting mommy warm you up with the hair dryer and make your beautiful hair look like a rockstar model tonight!

STRENGTH

Oh my little girl... you are strong. You are strong~willed, strong~minded, strong in your opinions, strong in your beliefs, strong in your passion and strong as in, you can kick some serious dupee when you are mad, physically~strong. I love this about you. You drive me absolutely nuts, because you are so much like me, when you act this way....but it will take you so far in life.
I hope you understand when mommy does try to teach you that, just because you are a girl, you don't need to learn how to do dishes and change diapers. That is not your role, if you don't want it to be. You can do anything.....absolutely anything you set your mind too. This is why I make you help with yard work, clear the table, fold clothes, repair bicycles and motorized toys and scooters. There is nothing, nothing at all, that says you have to do what may be thought of as "girl/mom things" and I would never want you to listen to anyone that may tell you that this is what you are here for. Your mommy takes a lot of pride in the fact that she can shine daddy's boots better than most men, dismantle a glock handgun and clean it pretty darn fast, change the tire on a car...the oil if I am absolutely desperate, fix leaky faucets and lift weights just like the boys do. I also take pride that I can put on a fancy dress and beautiful high heels to go on a "kissing date" with daddy. You my little angel, can do it all. There are no glass ceilings for you. Always remember.................

ALL YOUR LIFE YOU ARE TOLD THE THINGS YOU CANNOT DO. ALL YOUR LIFE THEY WILL SAY YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR STRONG ENOUGH OR TALENTED ENOUGH, THEY'LL SAY YOU'RE THE WRONG HEIGHT OR THE WRONG WEIGHT OR THE WRONG TYPE TO PLAY THIS OR BE THIS OR ACHIEVE THIS.

THEY WILL TELL YOU NO,

A THOUSAND TIMES NO UNTIL ALL THE NO'S BECOME MEANINGLESS. ALL YOUR LIFE THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, QUITE FIRMLY AND VERY QUICKLY. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO. AND

YOU WILL TELL THEM YES.

DETERMINATION

Brinkley has determination. Gut~wrenching, mad as heck, I am gonna do it and you can just watch me momma, determination. For years Brinkley has had no use for riding a two wheeled bike....none. She has been completely content riding her scooter with the other girls in the neighborhood. Only one other girl her age had been riding a two wheeled bike so it was not like she was the only one on the scooter...and for Brinkley, she is never usually worried about what other people do anyways.

So, flashback to November 12, 2007. I believe it was.... Veteran's Day. All of our neighbor kids are playing outside with Jax and Binky. I realized I needed to change one of the lightbulbs that required a ladder. After it broke as I was twisting it, I then needed pliers get the metal piece out and a muzzle to muffle the angry words I was saying.... Brinkley, in her matter~of~fact tone walks up to me and says,

"Hey mom...I'm gonna ride a two wheeled bike today!"
"GREAT! I will believe it when I see it Binx!"
"I am."
"OKAY Brinkley, whatever. You are gonna ride a two wheeler today. Seeing as that you have never ever done that before this should be good!" "Be careful and have fun." "Stay off Higley!!" (Higley is the main-busy street one road over)

Now, during this whole little conversation Brinkley's voice is becoming impatiently angered and I am not even looking in her direction at all. I am trying not to rip the light fixture off the exterior of the house at this point just basically agreeing in a "suuuure you're gonna ride that bike" tone. Brinkley, again, has never even attempted to ride a two wheeler....

The next words out of Brinkley's mouth are..."I told you so!" as she rides down the driveway on her friends two wheeler.

I nearly fell off the ladder.

Dear Brinkley,
I never doubt that you are able to accomplish any goal that you set your determined mind to. You can do anything in life and getting up and riding that two wheeled bike, sans help from anyone, is proof positive that you are one heck of a little girl. Never let anyone tell you that you can not do something and never underestimate your own strong will!
I am so very proud of you Binky Noodle!

Love, Momma

AT THE START~

I have decided to start a blog solely for Brinkley. Since she is my one only girl..my first and last girl... I wanted to share with her things I have learned about life, love, happiness, sadness, sharing, caring, giving, praying, believing, losing, laughing, smiling..... my list is literally endless. My posts may not be the most exciting...some things may be from journals I have written, copies of magazine articles I have saved since I was 7, advice from Dear Abby, notable quotables from Erma Bombeck... just whatever may fit the day or night or just might seem important for the moment we are living in! I have decided to write her letters and save pictures and post little things she loves today and what she hates this week. I want her to know that, although today's tantrum may make me scream....or the little look she flashes in anger some days... they are exactly how I was. I see me behind her eyes every time she becomes determined to do something, talks back out of spite, yells and screams until she gets her way, walks away with a grumble that resembles a growl.........It may be payback in a way...but I am thankful that this little girl is growing up with a strong will, a strong mind, a strong heart and determination that some adults don't have.